Awaiting her call

Perhaps you are the lucky one who got that last loaf of seedless Rye bread before I rounded the corner of aisle 5 in my third trip to a supermarket.  

Or maybe you are the unfortunate driver now in need of an audiologist as you can’t escape the residual echo’s that bounced off your front and rear windshields while you were trapped by the line of blaring horns that follow and haunt your wrong side sidling trip to the gas pump this afternoon.  You may try to cozy up with a book on your sofa or easy chair but you feel stuck, jammed and unable to make a move without taking out the large cubed ice machine or pyramid stacked water bottle display as well.

I imagine that some of us who have charged every gadget in our domain will fall victim not to a tropical depression but rather will fidget, twist and linger in a back lit screen induced mode of sleep deprivation.

Conceivably you are still searching for ‘D’ batteries.  Hint: you have a better chance of capturing Big Foot.

I know you are feeling mighty connected to your generator about now and I hope it doesn’t get flooded.

I would recommend trying to ignore that constant clanging of the high hanging wind chime you forgot to remove from beneath the front gutter before stowing the ladder behind all the lawn furniture.  Soon the wind will solve your problem and also move up the timeline for remodeling your porch windows.

Optimistically, you haven’t overbought on meat and poultry for when the power goes out this week.  Or possibly you did and I’ll be invited to the luau.

Don’t forget to check the sump pump and if your driveway is long enough make sure to park the SUV away from the reach of the big oak tree soon to give way.

If you need any extra duct tape, I am really sorry.  But as Jane said from the stall, I can’t spare a square.

May the sand bags work, may the dry lock hold, may the water be forever running away from your home, and until we speak again may the cooler currents off the Jersey Shore protect us from the swagger of Hurricane Sandy.

I will stay put with my go-bag, LED key chain, a cup of green tea and a cat that seems to know something is out there.

And with all sincerity I hope that all of you stay safe and that the meteorological trifecta fails to show.

© 2012 Christopher’s Views