Saturday, January 3, 2009

aimlessly adrift

My body is weighed down by a little too much chocolate. The festive figurines around my house have lost their luster, and whether at home or in the office, in waiting rooms or in foyers, I am greeted by dog-eared holiday cards. I felt Friday as if it were a Monday. I feel uncomfortable in a body that now wants to watch TV more than it wants to write. I need soup, but I eat pizza. I want to take time off from work even though I have been off seven of the last ten days. And as the very organized person that I am, I have become log jammed with a clutter problem. I have two planners because I've become too lackadaisical to fully transpose important information from one to the other. My car trunk is awash in paper and empty boxes leftover from the remnants of business trinkets delivered. I have become addicted to cappuccino and a cannoli for my 3PM snack, and my taste buds are so screwed up that I can't even enjoy a strawberry crepe at IHOP. I am upside down and adrift in the dead of winter. Meanwhile, in a coincidentally bizarre twist of the cosmos, my dentist has called me twice in the past couple of weeks to let me know I am overdue for a check-up. Are they tracking my movements through a GPS device they've planted in my crowned tooth?

Besides the food and clutter issues, I need structure back in my life. I need more time at my desktop when home, and more time scrambling with my BlackBerry when away. I need to play less CLUE JR., less LEGO'S, less Lite-Brite, and I must avoid areas frequented by beeping toy backhoes. The next batch of batteries I buy will be for my smoke detectors in the spring. And I am done with the holiday songs. I just simply stopped midstream while singing Jingle Bells with my son on New Year's Day. I know it was cruel, but I had to go cold turkey. Hey-and what is with his two weeks off from school-I need structure, structure, structure please.

So, I am putting it out to the universe that I need to stop using my STARBUCKS gift card. I need to move around. I need to invest in a new pair of sneakers and another Hoodie so I can weather the local jogging trails. I need oats, fiber and ginseng. I need to reinstate green tea and granola as my afternoon munch. I also need to make some plans.

But I have to muddle through this weekend's itinerary first. I damaged the Christmas tree box when hauling it out of the garage and it's going to be payback time when I attempt to squirrel it back into place. A section of my outdoor lights went dark on me shortly after I hung them several weeks ago. I replaced them before Christmas, and so now the removal will mark my third time playing around above the roof line in cold temperatures this season. And it will definitely be distracting for me to try to watch football while crumpling newspaper around our ornaments.

Once the boxes are packed, the card tables are deeply recessed in closets, and the attic is again off limits, I intend to dust off my rewards card and book a family weekend near a lodge in the mountains. So what if I'll need new tires to get there. In order for me to crossover this dead zone, I need to meet it head on. It's time to wax the toboggan, get lost in The Catskills and slide down some hills. Then, after I regain control of my priorities, I may feel comfortable enough to sit down in front of my TV as I ready myself for a new season of 24. Or, perhaps without guilt I can enjoy watching Simon as he plays mind games with a fresh round of contestants on American Idol. Nope--I don't see anything aimless about that plan.

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