Thursday, September 24, 2009

LOTTO dreaming

If I were to win LOTTO, I would open a bank.

I would pay less than 1% on the money deposited into my savings accounts. I would set 18% as the annual lending rate on items charged to my credit cards. I would have a $2 ATM fee. I would impose an automatic overdraft fee of $35 per occurrence hidden in the fine print of my debit card policy. I would clear deposits in 2 days, but not free them up for 7 days. I would charge a $300 mortgage application fee and the customer must fill out the application. The actual disclosure would be almost impossible to read and the lending process would be extremely difficult to recreate. This would allow me to bump up the originally promised interest rate by a 1/2 % at the closing, as I know that most consumers would be too weary to start the process over again. I would apply 1 point across the board on my loans and list it as an origination fee so that many people would glance over it.

I would be in strict observance of all Federal Holidays. I would fly the American flag prominently on all my properties. I would be an honorary speaker, political donor, venture capitalist and capitalist advocate. I would be a mentor to entrepreneurs, an aspiring example of risk management and a free enterprise model. I would be an enemy to socialism and denounce it at every turn.

I would keep my government bailout applications in the top right hand drawer.

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